Lovely rainy Saturday… Today, after a year of hibernating (it’s just that my thoughts became such a “couch potato”, dwelling on the mystery of the universe: its ups and downs, black and colorful colors, sadness and happiness, pain and love, I am back.
I am back.
This is something to celebrate on. I again allowed my thoughts to transfer its way to blogging. Now I do understand that writers do suffer from several blocks, which differs depending on each person’s emotions and feelings.
I am happy to note that – yes! I am now free from the chains locking my heart up. So much freedom, so much life has flown back into me. Making my heart pump blood again to my core – my spirit.
Certain instances in our lives may mark us BIG TIME. At times we were chosen to experience one thing, like in a cinema or a book, almost to incomparable bliss, then at the next, we will again shift to the dark side of it: painful and almost worth-dying for. (with exaggeration here, forgive me).
Some characters in our own personal stories may start as protagonists, but in the end of it all, they are antagonists waiting to happen, but without them, we wouldn’t be able to learn a single thing out of life.
It’s been already a month now since I finally broke free from my own self-conflicting pain, big thanks to those wonderful non-blood relatives whom the universe chose for me to have in my life. I came to the realization that with “things being left unsaid and unclear, we might lose our own self, agonizing over what mistakes we stumbled upon before without any clarity at all, and in the process, lowering our self-esteem to the point of losing our self – our spirit”.
A friend of mine (the best of all the best) brightened my heart over that by just simply, being there with me, while I read and go back to those memories one by one, it all boils down to my personal choice, to be happy or not? To dwell on the stupid past or give my self a chance to start new stories with new characters in my life.
Chapter 1 is just Chapter 1, it does not end there, life does not end at Chapter 1 at all, and most of the time, the person whom you thought you knew so well, might end up being someone you don’t know at all in just a flick of a hand – mysterious yes, and, also a fact – yes.
But, that’s really how it goes, people change, we all DO change. This change is unstoppable, it may break you at first, but always remember that it will also make you stronger in the process. I learned several arts here – if there is such a thing as the Art of Living, the Art of Loving and the Art of Learning, we can also freeze everything and call it the Art of Letting Go.
“Detach yourself from the world, so your spirit may be free” – Avatar
Say goodbye to facets of your life which only pulls you down. You may back down for a little while, hope that the storm will just pass, but after several tries and yet the rain won’t stop… let go of that door already. Close it, and vow to never go back inside that door again.
You may open yes – for in every path there is always a door up front, you may open several doors from afar of your past to wish them well, but be sure not to set foot inside again if you desire to live happy and move on.
“Every time you think of me send lights of love, then drop it” – Eat, Pray and Love.
In the book of the Little Prince, wherein the Prince protected his rose (which looks just like all the other roses) inside a globe, protecting it from the winds and the animals, he mentioned that his rose is far different from the rest, because it is his rose. Such a lovely story indeed.
Now when I think of those memories, I just smile, for those were experiences, just experiences which made me who I am now. Then all has been washed over, birthing me in the process once again.
I am now loving the fact that I can appreciate the beauty of life within and outside me after a long while. Those situations when you see someone or something from the other side of the room, and you just cannot take your eyes off them, seems like a magnet pulling you two together, and then you clicked.
I am happy because, I can again fully embrace that selective moment.
It can be with whatever or whoever, just the fact that I can once again feel? That for me is a major achievement after all.
I am now flying towards a rainbow, let me correct that, I’m walking hand in hand with the rainbow, while the sun glistened in my face.